The Grieving Process

We all have to deal with sad situations in our lives from time to time. No person or family can be exempt from this situation or experience all their lives. Sometimes we experience sadness because we did not get what we wanted or because we are disappointed with the results we get from some of our efforts. Here are a few tips on how we can make our selves happy despite the unpleasant or sad occasions we have to deal with everyday.

Death can be an intense emotional experience. This is especially true in the elderly. It may result in confusing behavior, depression, even such longing for the loved one that they experience what may be labeled a paranormal event. This is one man's experience of such intensity.

There are times when situations happen to others and we don't really know what to say or do. We feel like we need to something to help them with the hurt they have but our words are just not enough. We want to do something, take some type of action, but nothing we do would really help them.

I came across this book: They That Sow in Tears by Catherine Chappell and Charles Nolan Sandifer. Both shared the heartache of the loss of a child. Catherine's daughter and Charles' son were on the waiting list for organ transplant. But they did not make it to receive the transplants. In their grief, both found comfort working in their gardens. They found out that they were not alone. Planting a memory garden is a universal response to grief. I never thought of gardening in this way till I read their book.

A personal calamity would throw anyone upside down so that they feel in utter turmoil. Our comfort zone would be no longer available. The blow is harder to take if we had unwittingly assumed that whatever it was that we loved would always be there. We feel like shouting out 'It's not fair'. 'It's not the way things are supposed to be'. So what happens next?

A diagnosis of amputation can have a far reaching impact on your psychological state, much more in fact, than the actual physical loss itself. This might seem hard to imagine but because the operation to remove any limb could almost be considered routine these days, even the most difficult of amputations are invariably a success. Your emotional recovery takes much longer and this is because the stress of an amputation is inextricably entwined with your emotional state and this connection, can cause a myriad of emotions such as fear, grief, self-doubt and a lack of confidence afterwards.

When we have issues to deal with, rather than wondering why it has to happen to us and what others think we should do, think about how God wants us to handle the situation. We need to pray about what God wants us to do so we can become closer to Him, so we can become stronger in His word and so we can be an example to others.

In 1969, Elisabeth-Kubler Ross wrote and spoke about the five stages of grief. This was based on her studies of patients facing life threatening illnesses. The five stages of grief are: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.

The second "G" of the Three G's method involves practicing self-care. Self-care is usually not a high priority for new immigrants who are struggling to survive in a foreign country. Yet without self-care, the migrant is not likely to achieve much success in the host country, in the long term. One needs stable psychological and physical health in order to hurdle the obstacles of life in diaspora. Emotional strength and mental stamina are created through self care, which involves such aspects as: dealing with grief, seeking professional help when necessary, creating social support networks, learning to de-stress, and maintaining good physical health.