The Grieving Process

The first step of the Three G's method is to Get Real, which requires developing a realistic view of life in Diaspora and putting problems into proper perspective. Getting Real involves coming to grips with some of the darker aspects of the host society along with the migrant's own vulnerable position within that society. This can be accomplished in various ways, including: dismantling illusion and self-delusion, gaining perspective on Western culture and defining what can be changed in one's life and what cannot.

Take the lessons you've learned and go FORWARD with the belief that it's still possible to live a happy and rewarding life despite the events that have happened. Your past is only important because it's brought you to where you are today. You have the choice to look at your future as either "doomed by your past" or "enlightened by your past."

Loss is a universal experience. No one escapes this life unscathed by its cruelty and the pain and devastation it causes. Though loss is universal in nature, each individual will experience loss differently. For some it might be through the death of a child or spouse. Others will face a divorce and the break-up of a family or a chronic illness or cancer or losing a job that provided for their family. Loss might come by way of a ruined reputation, betrayal by a good friend or rejection by a loved one. Regardless of how loss comes, when something is taken from us that we cherish and hold dear, the pain and heartache that accompanies that is inevitable and very often, life-changing.

This article looks at the very British saying "keep calm and carry on". Is it useful?

There will inevitably be a void in your life when you lose someone you love. It's a normal process to go through. But, you get yourself into trouble when you jump inside that hole in your heart and live there instead of burying it and letting it go.

Suffering is a motif for life because it takes us to death - beyond worship of ourselves or other things besides God - and forces us to accept the untenable life. This is a complete loss of living control. Anyone subsumed in this form of deathly life is, paradoxically, and ultimately, blessed. Yes, it is, therefore, blessed to suffer unequivocally.

I'm going to share something very personal, and very painful with you. But as I reflect on my loss and life, I've realized the significant role it is playing in changing me as a person - and the lessons I am learning apply to anyone who is suffering a major disappointment or loss in their lives. This could be personal, professional, or both.

I remember the day I screamed down the hall of my high school... "Doesn't anyone care any more?" I was 16 and my Mom had died a few months before. I was sitting in typing class and it unexpectedly and suddenly hit me how everyone was carrying on with their lives, as if nothing had happened.

Feelings of grief can be particularly challenging to deal with during Christmas and New Years. Use the following 12 strategies to help yourself and your loved ones get through these times and hold onto your peace of mind throughout the holiday season.