I remember that day, as many of us do, like yesterday. Only certain days take such a hold on my memories, hugely significant days such as my wedding, our daughter’s birth and now Sept. 11.

My family was truly glued to the television set for days as the tale unfolded and the horror of the occurrence sunk in. My three-year-old told everyone she knew that bad men flew big planes into the towers in New York, and lots of people died. Big thoughts, pictures and feelings for anyone—but especially a three-year-old.

I believe that this will be her first official memory when she is older. So many things when we’re young become such a blur once we’re older, but not this. Boy, how to explain this in better detail to my previously innocent one and not make it too complicated or scary? And, I am not sure that we ever did find the right words, but I can assure you there was a whole bunch of extra hugs from then on, and we were already a pretty affectionate bunch. We did tell her that the events were very serious, and we explained what we knew about the brave folks on the plane that saved other people’s lives by sacrificing their own. We talked about all the families without their mommy or daddy and all the people that somehow survived beyond the brutal attacks. We also discussed the major steps being taken to ensure this would never happen again, not in this way. Most importantly, we are and will be okay.

I remember the day when the planes started flying again, Haley said, “Look, Mommy, the first plane (in our area). I hope they are safe.”

Since then, we have become even more family-focused and community-focused. We started leaving little notes to all the neighbors on our street (about 40) on Christmas, Valentine’s Day, 4th of July, and we started our own little press, Heinemann Headlines, a newsletter. The neighbors love it, and we have formed even more close relationships, watching out and helping one another as never before. The fun part of leaving the little notes and the strong lesson for my daughter I believe was that we left our messages anonymously. It’s good to do things for people even if they never know who it was that brightened their day. She loves putting the surprise on the door, and I do too, though some of them may have figured out our secret since the newsletter…but I’ll never tell if you don’t.