Spousal Loss

Do not be frustrated or fall into a deeper depression if you feel as if your grief is taking a long time. The loss of a spouse is a heavy burden and it will take time before you start to feel normal again. Think positively and know that this time will pass as well and eventually, you will feel better about life.

A death of a loved one is one of the most painful episodes in your life, more so if it's of your spouse. There's the feeling that there is no one there to comfort you anymore. For the longest time your partner has been your shield, your source of strength, and now he's no longer around.

You didn't plan it. You never imagined it could, or would happen to you in your lifetime. But, here you are, dear widow, blank as a slate, sitting at a kitchen table, studying the knob on the bread drawer. Your husband is dead, and in addition to feeling like a Pitiful Pearl Doll, all sad and blue, you find yourself needing to get out the house.

But, thinking you want to jump off a bridge, crash land into a moving train, or eat a bottle of pills, well, stop that! Because, that is not okay. Suicide is not an option, dear widow, and if the thought persists, than I'm here to tell you, if nobody else will, that there is something you can and must do about it.

Grief is unbearable pain. It lingers long after standing over a hole in the earth with your dead husband in it. It results in friends not calling anymore, because they don't know what to say; you not feeling up to going out, because when you do get out the house, you just want to run back home, jump into bed, and pull the covers over your head; you not being able to control your tears, because every thought cramming your brain are thoughts of Him.

Handling life after the death of a loved one is always going to be tough. There are levels of grief to be displayed and a lot of information out there to help you but, the best will be when you decide for yourself that it's time to move forward.

Dealing with the loss of a spouse is extremely difficult. Even if you know your spouse is terminally ill, it's really hard, probably impossible, to be completely prepared emotionally.

Get up. Get dressed. Get out. Yes! It's hard. Your husband, or significant other, someone you cared deeply about, has passed. You are alone. You want to waddle in your sadness, in your coulda, woulda, shouldas, in what was and is no more. People listened to your woe is me, they sympathized in the beginning, maybe the first month, maybe longer but... now it is time to realize you are your own "I am" and focus on yourself. No one else will.

For nine years, we had a family gathering with my husband's family at the beach. The tradition started after the death of my father-in-law. When my husband died nine years later, I embraced the memories and let go of this tradition.