I had a major crisis of faith last month. It was ugly. I kept telling myself I needed to find the time to be still. That I had to get quiet so I could pray and affirm the truth. But there was a part of me that resisted. And, for a while, it was stronger than my will to be at peace.

I hadn’t sat in front of my beautiful altar in almost two weeks. I had excuses out the wazoo but the bottom line is I hadn’t done it. Finally, I forced myself to sit down and enjoy my beautiful rock water fountain, light my candles and be enveloped by the scent of my favorite incense. And I began to receive tremendous gifts of astute awareness.

There are many different levels of awareness. For almost a month, I had a murmuring awareness of how I was slipping into negativity. I was mildly cognizant that I was complaining more. I was taking every experience, acknowledging the positive, then adding “But . . .” I was feeling like every decision I made was the wrong one. And I was overwhelmed with the fear that I was a fool for leaving my financially secure job to pursue finishing and publishing my novel.

It was like my soul was battling with some evil troll for control of my thoughts. Soon, instead of straddling the fence between faith and fear, I found myself in a place I had not allowed myself to remain in for more than a day or so in quite some time. And it felt awful.

But TRUTH is stronger than fear. And my spirit, demanding to be heard, guided me to the pillows in front of the peaceful space I created for myself, sat my butt down on the pillows in front of my altar and spoke the truth:

My perfect path is unfolding before me now. I am always taken care of.

The peace of God/dess that surpasses all understanding guards my heart and mind.

I started to feel better immediately. If you feeling like you’re slipping into a place of negativity, take the time to become “astutely” aware of your truth. It’s a beautiful gift to give yourself and the only way to be at peace.

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