My Heart, My Friend, My Sister, My Mother

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My Heart, My Friend, My Sister, My Mother

Written by Linda A. Johnson

Sunday, 20 September 2009 05:16

It was Sunday, September 23, 2001, which would be the most earth shaking day of my life. My Mother died.

I had spent most of the day with her, as she had not been feeling well. Around 5 o'clock or so, I asked her if she was feeling any better, and she said a little. I remember leaning over and kissing and hugging my mother and telling her to call me if she needed anything. Never could I have imagined that less than four hours later, my mother would call me in the midst of a major heart attack and that by the time I got to the hospital, my Mother would be gone from me.

You have to understand, my mother was only 15 years older than me. I talked to her every day. I saw her every day as well. She was so much more than my mother--she was my best freind, my sister, my strength, the other half of myself, the only person in this world that loved me in spite of everything. My mother would move heaven and earth for me. I miss her so much some times that I do not know what to do.

There is this big hole in my heart. I am lonely and afraid. With my mother's death, I began to look at myself and the fact that I am not promised even the next second, and I became afraid, and to this day, I fight the fear every day that I wake up.

I know my mother is free from pain and suffering and I am thankful to God. I always thought that I would know how to deal with my mother's death, but I don't. I just continue to pray every day; God continues to open my eyes--even when they are filled with tears. And I am thankful, even when my heart is so heavy with dread I do not know what to do, he is still there, and I am thankful.

Don't take life for granted. Love your loved ones while you can.

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