In one's life there is always that one person that stands out the most. The person that you think about constantly and admire and respect. The person that makes you who you are today.

To me this person is my Nanny.

My name is Miria Anikanara Greeks. I am her eldest grand-daughter, and I also have the privilege of being named after her.

My Nanny always tried to teach us the old Maori ways. She had in depth knowledge of our Maori customs and crafts. Through me, she tried to pass down this knowledge, but being young and naïve, I never really took much notice. When I finally woke up and realized that I wanted to learn all she had to give me, it was too late. What she did teach me, I will hold very dear and will treasure those few but precious moments we had. Always.

She was always close to her grandchildren and great grandchildren. They were her life. Even with her arthritis and her health not 100% she still carried, picked up and played with her moko's. She had a unique, special and close bond with all her mokopuna and she accepted them no matter what.

My Nanny was a gentle caring person. She took in anyone that needed help. Family or strangers. She always gave, gave, gave and never expected anything in return. When my cousin and me were talking about her, my cousin said that she was the peacemaker in the family. And this was true. She was always there for us. No matter how bad things were, she stood by us when no one else would. She gave us a home when we needed one. She tried to settle situations when they got out of hand, and she always had a knack of getting us to do something without actually telling us to do it. For example, if she wanted the cupboards cleaned, instead of asking us to do it, she would get down on her hands and knees and start pulling everything out. We would tell her to "sit down", "leave it", "we'll do it". But her subtle way of getting us to do it was what made her special.

To me I thought she would live forever. I could never imagine life without her.

But sadly I learnt that nothing lasts forever.

When she was in the final stages of her cancer, it really hit home that she was dying. My way of coping with the knowledge of losing her was to try and be there for her 24 hours a day. I helped care for her, talked, laughed, read, sang and cried with her. I noticed as each day went by she grew weaker and weaker and the pain increased. But she still hung in there and always had a smile for all of us.

I remember that morning clearly. 4th December 2001, exactly one month after her 70th birthday. Her breathing had become labored and then all of a sudden it was faint. We knew the time had come.

The last thing Nanny would of heard on the stereo was Beautiful Woman. The last thing she would have seen was her family beside her. And the last thing she would have felt was our love.

My Nanny finally had no more suffering, no more pain and she looked beautiful and peaceful. For this reason I could let her go, accept that she had died. But it was still hard.

When the song Mum played on the stereo, we all sang our hearts out to her and the tears flowed and flowed. The pain, grief, sorrow, sadness, all these feelings I felt were overwhelming; there was just so much emotion that I felt when she died. And I thought these tears would never stop.

It has now been 8 months since her death, and there are times when I can't stop crying. I think of her everyday and a song or a thought of her will make the tears start again. I miss her so much. I miss her laugh, her smile, our gossip sessions and just seeing her.

She is still in my heart, mind and soul, and I will never forget My Nanny.

On April 18th, 2002, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, which I named after my nanny. Miria-Mokai Harawira Conrad. There are times when I sit here looking at her and wonder what her life is going to be like. These are the times I treasure, holding her in my arms while she sleeps, knowing that later on someone else's arms will be holding her.

And I remember

Nothing Lasts Forever.

Copyright © 2002 Miria Greeks, New Zealand. All rights reserved.

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