I was there.
I sat with you
the vigil through days
and nights, pleading with heaven
that I might take your place.
Heaven did not want me,
but you, my beautiful boy.
I was there.
I held your still hand,
never to clasp mine again,
as it so often did
when you were small…
How is it then,
that I look for you in every crowd?
The breeze blows open my door,
I turn to see if you are there.
Footsteps approaching,
I raise my eyes
expecting to see you,
hands in pockets, all smiles.
Then I remember anew,
that heaven has taken you.
My boy, my boy,
that you could sing to me
just one more song.
That I could hold you
in my arms once again,
if only for a moment.
How is it that I see you
around every corner?
How is it that I hear your voice
upon the evening breeze?
That lovely gossamer thread,
that binds mother and child
together,
That part of me that was you,
the part of you that was me,
Is still tightly woven together my son,
I hear you on the breeze
because you sing still,
out of heaven .
That gossamer thread
will lead me home to you,
wait for me my darling boy.
I love you.

Copyright © 2002 Kelly Cummings. All rights reserved.

About the author: I lost my son Joshua on Jan. 18th, 2002. He was only 21.

Comments (2)

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written by rennie, November 28, 2007

thank you for the poem. how true the words are. i also lost my son Zachary on june 10, 2006 he was 21, five days from his birthday, june 15, 1984 instead his death cert was filed on his birthday. trying to grasp the reality of my son being gone, it has been 17 months, my son my baby

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written by Justine, December 07, 2007

Kelly, this is beautiful, I just finished reading and put in a comment on your poem "What a grieving mother really thinks"
I lost my only child, my son Lance to cancer when he was 13-1/2 years old on October 23, 2003
I miss him so badly I ache to hold him again and grasp his once tiny hand as a toddler and also his hand that was so affected by his cancer, he was beautiful in every way and my best friend
I will never "get over" losing him like so many who just dont get it think that I should
Or I should say "we" as grieving parents should..
A part of us died when they left us and it is something I feel will never heal, atleast with me.
Again, thank you for sharing your beautiful writing!