since i heard my father had died.i knew i ll always have to be ready for the worst.ready for a big negative change in my life.ready,to miss happiness for ever.but i never thought it would be so brutal.that s why i pretended to be indifferent.i dried my tears,drew a fake smile over my face...

i went to college,oblivious of all the ghosts around me.these ghosts were the threats that promised a black bleak life.college life was so bright that it made me believe that there s still a hope for hapiness.but not for long.after the first year in college.i made the worst choice in my life and the cruelest crime against myself.

i migrated to saten island. all the way from east to farwest. i heard a lot about this country.especially the part im living in.they said it s like a paradise.i cant believe how fucking stupid i am.mygrief story is diferent from any other story.becose i am alone.no one realizes what happening to me.in this new environement all my dreams were smashed against the rocks of reality.i never continued my studies,i had to work like a dog,untill i broke my back.now no more working like a dog.now i cant work at all.doctors cannot do anything for me.and im the only one who knows this.not becose i dont tell them.but becose no one ever feels ur grief the same way u feel it.no more studies no more work no more dreams...what remains for man to survive.this question used to make rivers of tears flow from my eyes.but not anymore.they got dry.

now im stuck between the earth and the sky.i cant do any good over here but i cant go back to my country either.i alredy gave up evrything. i see peapole around me working n making moeny .others studying...and me like a vrokenwing bird. can a bird with no wings fly?can he survive....