I've  kept a journal from the time I was a teenager, seems like yesterday.   Over the years, my children picked up my journaling habit.   We call them,  "letter's to God."   

in my letters over the years, I have thanked God for each child he blessed me with.  I have five daughters in all.   Even though two of my girls have Cystic Fibrosis, I always felt and still feel blessed.  My oldest daughter, 23, went to be with the Lord on Nov. 3rd. 2007.   It was sudden and unexpected.   She died from so many ailments all related to her CF.    She was a fighter.  She survived two transplants and went on to lead as normal and productive life as she could.  She was even engaged.   Her hair was white, soft and shiny.  Her eyes were a piercing green that sometimes couldn't hide her pain.  She never got very big, only 5'1", about 100 pds, but she had a presence about her when she entered a room.  It was as if she glowed.   She's with the Lord now, and I am so happy for her.  She has a beautiful new body that doesn't hurt.

     I miss her so much.  At times, I can smell her near.   Out of nowhere, her fresh, crisp scent moves about  and I know she's there with me.  One day I was in the car driving and I smelled her all around me.  I knew she was in the seat beside me.

      Two weeks after my oldest daughter passed away, we learned my healthy 22 yr. old had  melanoma of the lungs, lymph nodes and brain.   At times, it's almost to much for me to take in.  We are facing a battle before us.  I know we will all come through stronger, I know God has a plan....so, in my letters to God, I try and list all the good things to be thankful for...sometimes it's hard, but, he gives me the strength and joy I need to go on.   thanks.