Dear Jesus, Please give Carol your chosen child comfort this day. It is so hard when you lose your child. Restore her for your glory and love. Also keep Janell sisters and brothers close to their mom.

Every day I wait to see if this day I will return to the world around me.  I see my granddaughters almost every day. They are the reason I am still going on.  I am living every parents worst nightmare and I will never wake up from it.  Almost every day I am also told by well meaning friends and family that I have to "stay strong" or some other similar remark.  I want to scream and let everyone know that I am not strong.  A huge part of me feels as if it also died with my son.  The sadness and emptiness are not getting better I'm only hiding it more.  I do try to be in a better mood for my family especially my daughter-in-law.  She is also going through a terrible time.  She was always by my son's side during his illness.  She loved so very much.  Does the empitness and pain ever go away?  Or does one just wait until it's time to die then it's over?

my darling baby girl

so precious yet so small

left me in 13 days to excat

i remember the moring i awoke to your life less body and relized that your world has ended and so has mine. it was suppose to be different on mothers day, you were suppose to awake and be in my arms not the other way around. i was suppose to give you your morning feeding and a bath and your little sister was going to smother you in kisses like she usually does, but not today you are rushed away in a ambulance to the hospital so they can try with all there might to bring you back, but it was too late the came and took away my baby girl they could not give me a second chance to do it all over a gain. so now we kiss goodbye and i touch you for the last time . we give kisses and i try to pretend that ill be fine, but i keep breaki9ng down because i want you back, i want to change diapers see you walk hear you cry, hear you talk, i just want to hold my faith again. i want you soo bad that hurts to think sleep and eat. i just want my baby back....