When My Grief Was New

by Ferna Lary

Bury my head in the sand
til my heart no longer cries
for there’s no pain like the pain you feel
when a loved one dies.

Bury my heart in the ground
til the very last moment in time,
for there’s nothing left inside me to give,
no poems left in me to rhyme.

Bury my soul in the sea
till the waters turn into clay,
for there’s nothing left to hope for now
that my love has gone away.

Bury my hopes and dreams
and my laughter and smiles, too,
for there’s no one left on the face of this earth
that cares if I ever do.

Bury me last but not least
in the grave by my loved one’s side,
and let peace return to this lonesome beast
since my loved one died.

Along Grief’s Journey

I hear little children laughing
and the sound brings my soul such pain.
Yet I know in my heart that life goes on
and I must learn to live again.

Some days I stay so busy
I don’t even realize you’re gone.
Then there are all of those other days when
I feel like I can’t go on.

Sometimes I think I dreamed you…
that you never existed for real.
You’ve been gone so long and I’m just not strong
for my life has become surreal.

They tell me it’s time to let go
and build a new life without you.
But the builder is weak and I can’t even speak
and I don’t know what else to do.

How long will this pain last, Lord?
How many tears have I already cried?
It seems like forever since my world fell apart
when my loved one died.

Peace in My Soul

It was such an awesome day
and I stopped to stare up at the sky.
My heart skipped a beat as I heard you speak
when you asked the angel, “Why?”

“I wrote ‘I love you’ in the sky
as big and as plain as can be.
How can she stand down there and look up here
and still not be able to see?”

The clouds were broken and thin,
and swirled randomly through the air.
I searched and strained at all that remained
of the swirls of white still there.

The angel’s voice was soft and low
as I smiled and raised my brow,
and I heard her say in the strangest way
“She’s starting to see it now.”

There’s a bittersweet peace in my soul
and a sense of awesome pride
knowing you’re up there writing words in the air,
and our love has never died.