Meaning In Death

by Vince Valle

In June 2001, I witnessed something devastating while attending a work-related function. We were just finishing dinner while we listened to our speaker’s words when she suddenly collapsed. Of course, we were all concerned and alarmed but the consensus was that she fainted from nerves and possibly the heat.

In her mid 40s, this woman had died from an aneurysm right in front of us all. It is not often that anyone witnesses such a moment.

I’ve been thinking about this, trying to make some sort of sense out of the situation. I did not know her personally, but what I saw was a very personal thing. I know that there was not one person in the room that was not moved or affected—no matter how hardened by their own lives they’d become.

I couldn’t pray enough for her and her family. A young, beautiful person who volunteered her time to help children. I decided to write about this in order to work out what it has caused me to feel.

Death that evening had happened in literally a second. How much more real does the proof need to be in order to remind us to live in the present. Each second of our existence is a gift to us. We always hear people say, “You never know…” and they are right! This experience has changed me. While I feel what I witnessed was devastating, sharing in that person’s “crossing over to the other side” was meaningful to me. I’ve been looking at my life and the people, the moments, the things in it. I called my parents the next day and just reminded them how much I love and appreciate them.

Consider for a moment that you will be gone by the end of next week. What will you do before that time? What is suddenly important? What is suddenly not important? Where is the real value in your life right now? This exercise helps expose all those hollow things in your life: the abuse from your manager; the new car that you want but don’t need; those new shoes you must have; the person who cuts you off in traffic; your worry about what other people think of you; a friend’s annoying habits—you get the picture. How important are they in comparison to the big picture of your life and those around you.

When was the last time you looked at your spouse or partner directly in the eyes and told them you love them? When you are walking, stop and actually take a moment to look at the sunrise or sunset; what do you feel? Who are the people in your life that make you feel great? Spend more time with them. When you are jogging in the morning, instead of looking down when you pass someone, look up and smile—say hello and see how good it makes you feel to connect with that person. Get down on the floor with your dog or cat and play. Go out to your garden and watch the bees and butterflies up close. Hold the door for someone, or give up your seat on the train or bus. Actually listen to the person you are talking with—they have something to say. Climb a tree with your son or daughter, niece or nephew. Write an e-mail and send it to everyone in your address book, thanking them for being a part of your life and asking them to pass it on.

I want my experience to send a message to as many people as possible. Every moment we have in this life is a gift for us to make something out of. Love those gifts and everyone and everything within them. I challenge everyone to reflect on this note and pass it on.