If your loss was a sudden one and totally unexpected, the shock of the event can be totally numbing. A tragedy like this can sever your emotions, shutting down your ability to think logically and therefore preventing you from having to deal with the reality of the situation. This is your body's way of protecting you until you are able to manage. Unfortunately, tears can be both a cleansing and healing antidote to a tragic situation and without this release; emotions can be bottled up and gradually builds.

The first step of the Three G's method is to Get Real, which requires developing a realistic view of life in Diaspora and putting problems into proper perspective. Getting Real involves coming to grips with some of the darker aspects of the host society along with the migrant's own vulnerable position within that society. This can be accomplished in various ways, including: dismantling illusion and self-delusion, gaining perspective on Western culture and defining what can be changed in one's life and what cannot.

Take the lessons you've learned and go FORWARD with the belief that it's still possible to live a happy and rewarding life despite the events that have happened. Your past is only important because it's brought you to where you are today. You have the choice to look at your future as either "doomed by your past" or "enlightened by your past."

Do not be frustrated or fall into a deeper depression if you feel as if your grief is taking a long time. The loss of a spouse is a heavy burden and it will take time before you start to feel normal again. Think positively and know that this time will pass as well and eventually, you will feel better about life.