How Do You Explain Death To A Child?

by Linda Penny

“Grandma how come I don’t see great-grandpa no more? Is he up there,” she asked pointing to the sky? Surprised at how quickly the tears wanted to well up, I fought the urge before answering, “Yes, he’s in heaven.” You see, it will be exactly one year December 2001 that my dad passed, and she, as a four-year-old at the time, remembers her great-grandpa. My dad lived with me for three years during the early days of his sickness, and she remembers pushing and riding with him in his wheelchair throughout the house. So how do you explain death to a child?

“Why did he leave?”

“Jesus wanted him to come home.”

“But why?”

“Well, I think great grandma missed him too, and it was her turn.”

“Oh.”

Will those answers suffice a five-year-old as she thinks on these things? Great grandpa went to sleep, but what about those people she saw where the airplane destroyed the buildings they were working in?

She watched the TV accounts of the terror and tragedy September 11th and immediately asked her mom, “Why did they do that? Why did they hurt those people?”

All she could say was, “I don’t know.”

“Oh.”

But if adults are having nightmares, anxiety attacks and other signs of trauma, what are the children thinking? It was like watching a movie—except this was real.

“Those were bad people, honey, who just wanted to cause problems.”

“Oh.”

“You know what, honey, all those people who got hurt, let’s pray for them and their families.”

“Okay.”

It’s times like these you don’t really have an answer as you sit with your own mouth open wondering why. The bible says these are signs, but the time is not yet. “But when you hear of wars and rumors of wars, do not be troubled; for such things must happen, but the end is not yet” Mark 13:7 NKJV.

I really didn’t think, including others of us who are professing Christians (that have accepted Jesus as our Lord and Savior and acknowledge him as the Son of the living God), that we would be here to see such devastation. It never occurred to me that I would witness first hand the tragedy and troubles that are still to come. It’s frightening and yet exciting, because as a child of God, I’m ready for whatever does come, yet my heart still skips a beat as we all watch and wonder what next and when.

“In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.” I Corinthians 15:52 KJV. So we know what the scripture tells us that Christ’s return will be in the twinkling of an eye; today’s events make this scripture even more real.

All the philosophizing in the world cannot prepare an individual for reality. We can guess and give our educated opinion, but when it comes down to the bottom line and you are face to face with actual terrorism and devastation, what then? How can you explain the thousands of people who lost their lives without a warning? How many were ready?

My daughter called me later, “Mom guess what? She just drew a picture of a rainbow and under the rainbow she drew a picture of great-grandpa and great-grandma and told me that since she couldn’t see them anymore, she would just draw where they live.”

Simple, yet it worked for her. She accepted the fact that Jesus took them home. Now will that work for you and I and the thousands of others? If we draw a picture of heaven with a long line of people waiting to get their ticket stamped to enter, will that help?