Why Aren’t My Prayers Being Answered?

by Marnie L. Pehrson

Recently I’ve had several people write to say that although they do their best to have faith in the Lord and to follow His teachings, they do not receive answers to their prayers. It is as if they are praying to the ceiling, for it seems they are neither heard nor answered.

How can this be, when the scriptures continually remind us to “ask and ye shall receive; knock and it shall be opened unto you”? The Lord does not lie, so there must be something else at work here. Perhaps we do not understand how our prayers are being answered. Perhaps we do not recognize the answers when they come, or maybe some other factor is at work.

How Desperate Are You?

Often when our need is most desperate, answers seem slowest in coming. Have you ever been in a hurry to get out the door but can’t find your keys? You’re desperate—you search everywhere with no luck. Then you decide to sit for a minute and calm down and think. You get up and there your keys are, in an obvious location that you may have even searched before. Similarly, in our frantic state, we are often too stressed to open our spiritual eyes and see answers that are in plain view. Sometimes our cries for help drown out the still, small voice that is speaking the answers.

Relax. Try to emotionally detach yourself from the situation, look at it objectively, find a quiet place to pray and really listen for answers.

Do You Already Have the Answer?

Sometimes we pray for things that we already know the answer to. Within the scriptures are advice and direction in the way that we should live. Have you searched the scriptures for your answer? For example, if you are struggling with whether you should forgive a person who has seriously offended you, and you pray to the Lord for guidance in this, you may feel you aren’t getting an answer. But in reality, the answer has already been given to you. It is found in the scriptures. (See Matthew 18:21-35)

Sometimes we think that we’re the exception to the rule. “Sure, I know the scriptures teach that, but my case is different. I need the Lord to tell me specifically what to do in my situation.” But the truth is you and I are not the exceptions. We need to be willing to act upon the Lord’s commands first. Then, as we act, we will feel a confirmation that our decision is the right one. We will have feelings of peace and contentment that following the Lord’s commandments is truly the best course for us. But, it is up to us to act before we get an answer in such cases. “If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself.” (John 7:17)

He Never Promised A “Yes”

Because the Lord has an eternal perspective on our existence, He knows best about what we need in our lives. Sometimes, in our own best interests, the Lord tells us “No”—even when we pray for something that seems like it should be perfectly acceptable in His sight. It takes faith to believe that Heavenly Father knows best and that if He says “No,” that that’s still an answer, and it’s one that will be best for us in the long run.

He Never Promised “When”

The Lord often asks us to wait a while. His timing is always the best timing. “Since faith in the timing of the Lord may be tried, let us learn to say not only, ‘Thy will be done,’ but patiently also, ‘Thy timing be done.’” (1).

I am reminded of a tough six years in our married life when my husband and I experienced serious financial challenges. The answer to our prayers was not that we would be immediately delivered from our financial situation, instead we were given hope, peace and the ability to endure it as we worked to correct the situation. The Lord often wants us to work through serious challenges so that we can grow in wisdom and faith. In such cases, I have found it helpful to ask, “What can I learn from this situation? What do I know now and how am I a better person for having endured this hardship?” I have found that the lessons learned are always worth the price paid.

He Will Not Force the Agency of Others

I have learned that although we may have faith in the Lord and what He would like to have happen, we can’t always count on other people to use their free will (agency) to choose what the Lord wants. When our prayers involve the choices of others, we must be especially patient. The Lord will never force anyone to see the light or to choose His will in answer to your prayers. He may gently persuade, lead and guide them until they eventually see the light, but He will not force Himself upon them. Patience is critical when our prayers involve the agency of others.

Did You Hear That Answer?

Moses heard the Lord’s voice from a burning bush. Joseph dreamed dreams. Saul (later Paul) saw a vision, but rarely do we hear voices, see visions or dream dreams. Instead, we may have strokes of ideas or inspiration come into our minds. We may be reading a verse of scripture and it may trigger ideas for what we should do next. We may be speaking with a friend and she may have the answer we seek. Still other times we may experience a feeling of peace and comfort that lets us know what we should do. It is important to learn to listen and recognize answers and not to dismiss them as simply coincidence or our own voice within our head.

There are other factors that can play a role in whether our prayers are being answered, but they are always on our end of the communication channel. The Lord always listens. It is up to us to keep the channels clean by being obedient to the Lord, listening, learning to recognize His voice, and being willing to accept His will instead of our own.

“If you seek His help, be sure your life is clean, your motives are worthy, and you’re willing to do what He asks—for He will answer your prayers. He is your loving Father; you are His beloved child. He loves you perfectly and wants to help you.” (2)

(1) Neal A. Maxwell, “Plow in Hope,” Ensign, May 2001.
(2) Richard G. Scott, Learning to Recognize Answers to
Prayer, Ensign, November 1989.