Without a doubt, the most painful experience in life is the loss of a loved one. The most devastating for most people is the loss of a child or a spouse. Over the years, I have had the fortune to conduct seminars on death and immortality, and also support groups for those who have recently lost loved ones. I am very grateful to all those who have attended and taught me by sharing their emotions, experiences and insights through the various stages of coping with this extremely painful and often totally overwhelming event.

For a very long time, I had doubts about whether or not my sister, Jill, made it into heaven because there are at least a few religions who teach that those who commit suicide are condemned. There are several people that told me the same thing. However, after a lot of soul-searching, poll-taking and research, I firmly believe that Jill is indeed in heaven—as are many like her, who took their own lives.

Barbara was driving her six-year-old son, Benjamin, to his piano lesson. They were late, and Barbara was beginning to think she should have canceled it. There was always so much to do, and Barbara, a night-duty nurse at the local hospital, had recently worked extra shifts. She was tired. The sleet storm and icy roads added to her tension. Maybe she should turn the car around.

Death. No one wants to talk about it and yet none of us will escape it. When it happens to someone we know, most people don’t know how to handle it. And, it’s because people are uncomfortable about it and it’s so final that people fear it the most. In fact, there’s only one thing that tops death on the list of things people fear most and that’s public speaking. As a comedian once noted, most people would rather be in the coffin than give the eulogy!