Experts Offer Tips for Coping with September 11 Anniversary

For many Americans, the one-year anniversary of the September 11 terrorist attacks will bring on a variety of emotions, from helplessness and despair to anxiety and anger. Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) and a coalition of other leading victim assistance groups are offering tips to help people understand and cope with their feelings as the nation reflects on one of its most traumatic events.

“Because the September 11 events were unexpected, and so tragic, many people may experience a heightened emotional response and anxiety,” said Debbie Weir, MADD national director of victim services. “This is normal. Coping with traumatic images and experiences are essential to recovery, and there are a vast amount of resources in every community to help with the healing process.” She added that with any disaster, there comes a time to observe the event's anniversary. “Many people believe that grief will wane with time; however, feelings of anger, guilt, isolation, loneliness, sadness and despair often occur long after the traumatic event.”

Experts say that the anticipation of the anniversary date may bring out a rush of emotions and cause possible anxiety in those who have experienced trauma. Wendy Hamilton, MADD national president, said, “Often the pain increases and becomes more intense following the first anniversary. Grief is a journey, and we must recognize that all people grieve in their own way.”

MADD and the coalition, including The National Center for Victims of Crime (NCVC), the National Organization of Victims Assistance (NOVA), and the National Organization of Parents of Murdered Children (POMC), among others, offer the following tips to help people cope with grief and their emotions:

Talk about it. Unspeakable trauma becomes more manageable when it is verbalized. It can be very harmful to bottle up feelings. Recognize that not everyone surviving trauma will be at the same stage in his or her grief. Reach out to others as a means of establishing supportive relationships. Talk to someone who is a good listener or someone who understands trauma and its ramifications to help lessen feelings of isolation.

Recognize anniversaries. Recognizing a traumatic anniversary, however slight, may be vital to the health and healing of the community and its citizens. The anniversary serves as another step towards healing and activity helps in this process as well. Anniversary remembrances must be planned and executed with care. Rituals, such as planting a tree or perennial plant in memory of a loved one who died or in honor of someone who was injured, creating a wall of memories for notes and photos, and coordinating candlelight vigils, help people recognize the reality of the trauma that has changed the lives of people and the community.

Honor differences. There are many different ways of dealing with trauma and grief. Respect the different ways in which people cope and help them to channel their energies into positive activities, such as setting goals, writing in a journal, visiting with a close friend, finding spiritual guidance and sharing their talents with others. Without acceptance, true recovery may not be nurtured among individuals.

Remember the Victims. Many people who are grieving feel their friends, family and community have
“forgotten” about them. This can lead to increased feelings of isolation and loneliness. Reach out and listen to their stories. Although they may say the same things over and over, honor these experiences by listening rather than giving advice or using clichés such as “time heals all wounds.”

Have family time. Remember that children also face trauma but often deal with their emotions in small segments. Never force a child to talk about it if he or she doesn't want to. Plan family time for positive activities such as drawing, painting, and listening to a child's thoughts about the event. By setting aside time for family around the anniversary, a child's sense of security and confidence will be nurtured.

Do something to help. Even the smallest deeds can help people. Send a card or letter to show your concern and support. Make a donation of time or money to a victim service organization. The positive impact will last a lifetime.

Seek professional support. Although grieving is normal, if a friend or loved one seems to be unable to function or is overcome by dangerous behavior due to a traumatic event, seek professional support.

Additional information and trauma recovery tips can be found at:

• Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD)
• National Center for Victims of Crime
• National Organization of Parents of Murdered Children
• National Organization For Victim Assistance