Life and Death

by Kevin Eikenberry

“It’s not the end of the physical body that should worry us. Rather our concern must be to live while we’re alive.” — Elizabeth Ross

Life and death go together, and we all know it. This essay has been coming for awhile, due to three separate events. Earlier this year, one of my great aunts died, and her daughter wrote a short piece about what she learned from her Mom. Beth’s words are poignant and valuable. This essay will close with her words.

Life Can Be Short

Earlier this year, too, my wife and I had a second son, Tanner, who was born at 22 weeks, and died immediately. We have spent a summer grieving, dealing with, and learning from this chapter in our life.

“Even as a coin attains full value when it is spent, so life attains its supreme value when one knows how to forfeit it with grace when the time comes.” —Felix Marti Ibanez

Life Can End Suddenly

Most recently, a dear family friend who lived across the road from me during my whole kidhood died at 89. She didn’t die of natural causes, long illness, or anything you might expect an 89-year-old lady to die of. Evelyn died in a car accident.

So What?

“So what?” is exactly what I want you to think about. Death is a part of life, and life is all about learning. I believe we can learn a lot about ourselves through the process of death. Our family has learned much about ourselves, our choices, how we communicate, how we manage stress and much more because of the death we experienced.

Reflecting on my experiences with Evelyn reminded me much about myself and taught me about some important life priorities.

Certainly, Beth eloquently describes some of the many things she learned from her mother.

Reflection

The key to the value gained from all these experiences is reflection. In order to learn from most experiences, death included, reflection is critical.

I encourage you to give yourself the time for reflection all the time—including following the loss of those around you. Honor their life with your memories and reflections.

Some Of The Lessons I Learned From My Mother, Marie G. Sweitzer

In every day, in every way, the lessons keep appearing in my life…

• Don’t waste electricity. Be thankful
• Don’t mix the whites and darks in the laundry. Be selective in your decision-making.
• Don’t let the weeds overtake your garden. A quality end product requires daily care and nurturing.
• Measure flour by slowly filling the cup with a spoon before leveling it off. Measure life by slowly building values and character.
• Don’t impose on others. Learn to be self-sufficient.
• “Make do” with what you have. Enjoy the simple things in life.
• When a job needs to be done, step to the front of the line. Don’t procrastinate—just do it! When the going gets tough, keep going…

The most important lesson I’ve learned is the impact one individual can have on others—an impact so great that the lessons taught are incorporated in both the small things and the big things without question and without pause. Is there any greater way to say that this life—the life of Marie G. Sweitzer—has made a difference?

— Beth E. Sweitzer-Riley, March 30, 1996